I’m 23 and feel guilty about having 80k in savings

Can you tell me a bit about your life growing up?

I’m 23, and grew up in a low-to-middle income background. Most of my friends growing up were from substantially richer families, which caused a bit of resentment from me as a teenager - particularly when my parents experienced a substantial drop in their income due to long term illness in my mid teens. This drop in income led to periods of uncertainty and, at times, housing instability, which I struggled to discuss with my friends who could not relate to me at all. Experiences like those growing up had a huge impact on my relationship with money today.

I graduated this summer from university. My summer job also finishes soon and so, like many of my peers, I am both anxious and excited about working out what I want to do with my life and generally just starting my adult era.

What's your career and earning history?

I have always had a part time job since the age of 16: working in cafes, shops, cleaning etc. During my school summers I often worked the whole time, and I worked all the way through uni too. I also regularly volunteer with youth work and poverty charities. After graduating this year, I took a seasonal role as an outdoor instructor. All of my jobs have paid the minimum wage, but despite being young and just out of uni I’ve already built up a savings pot of £80k.

How have you managed to save so much?

While a small amount of money was gifted from family members, the vast majority of it I have managed to save up myself. I have been putting money away since I was 16, but my saving really took off when I went to uni.

Because I was from a low income background, I qualified for the full student loan and a bursary from the uni. On top of that I was also given scholarships and prize money due to my high grades at A Level and throughout my degree. I also did a placement year in an outdoor-ed role, which - despite earning minimum wage and working way more hours than I was paid for - allowed me to save a huge chunk, because food and accommodation was already provided.

I saved everything I could, and as my savings started to grow, it started to become more and more of a fun challenge for myself, and I got into learning about personal finance and how to grow savings (e.g. side hustles, cash-back, high interest savings accounts, LISAs, bank switches etc.), which enabled me to reach the point that I am at now.

Do your savings make you excited about any aspects of the future?

Looking to the future, I am very excited about buying a small house/flat. Ever since facing housing insecurity as a teenager, I have dreamed of owning a safe, comfortable home that no one can take away. It has been a major motivation on my saving journey, so I am excited to be able to do this for myself.

I am also very excited about starting a fulfilling career that benefits others. I currently work with young people from disadvantaged backgrounds, helping them develop self-confidence and push themselves. It is not a high paying career path at all, but it is one that is very worthwhile and that I will continue to pursue.

I have never had the opportunity to travel much and so would absolutely love to spend some of my money to see a bit more of the world, and go to many of the places I was jealous that my friends got to go in summer holidays while I was growing up.

Can you talk more about the guilt you feel?

Despite being very proud of how far I’ve come, I also feel extremely guilty about my situation, because a lot of it came down to a very specific set of personal circumstances. Whilst I made very conscious choices and sacrifices to save the amount that I have, I have also benefited from earning or receiving money which has allowed me to save it in the first place.

I try to offset this a little by making regular donations to several charities with causes that are important to me, but that doesn’t seem to change the disconnect I feel with my peers when discussing money. The world is a mess right now, and lots of people in my generation especially have a pretty bleak financial future. I try to help out my friends and family with tips and advice from my knowledge of personal finance, but I keep very quiet about the amount that I personally have in savings. I find it really difficult to navigate the flip from being the poorest from my group of friends pre-uni, to now having a completely different set of options post-uni.

I also have worries that people who don’t really know me will just assume that I was given the money to buy a property by a rich family, rather than recognising that it was something I achieved largely alone. This may seem like a silly thing to complain about, but it is hard to reconcile the experience of a low income upbringing with personally being a lot wealthier than many of my peers.

What is your relationship with money like now?

I need to develop a more healthy relationship with spending money. I have found that my savings habits have become quite aggressive due to my money experiences and anxieties growing up, to the extent that I feel extremely guilty and anxious if I spend almost any money at all or realise I have overpaid for something when I could have got a deal (even when the difference is just a few pounds). I hope to work on this and become comfortable with spending some of the money I have earned to enjoy life.

Do you have any advice for those where you were?

I was mostly very lucky in my personal circumstances to be able to have a large amount of income to save, and find it difficult to give advice when I know so many people are struggling as it is just to get by.

I did however make a very conscious effort to keep spending low. I don’t own anything expensive (cars, tech), have no monthly subscriptions, don’t order food, make extensive use of libraries, and buy very few things. While this way of life might not sound great for everyone, I definitely learnt at uni that you can have a great time and still enjoy life on a very low budget. With practice, you can find lots of free or low cost activities and learn to find fulfilment and beauty in the world without spending money.

I would also recommend finding another motivating factor beyond just saving money. For me, a lot of my habits came from a deep concern for the future of the planet and society in a capitalist consumer society. It is this anxiety that caused me to wear the same second hand clothes I bought from a charity shop when I was 16, choosing to repair my belongings when they wear out rather than buying new ones, using public transport and to eat a vegetarian diet.