'I'm spending money I barely have to attend a hen party'

Can you tell me a bit about you and your life?

I am currently planning a wedding (which is fully self-funded), and own my own house in which me and my fiancé live. We have no dependents. I have always worked hard, getting my first job at age 13 and having my first sub-contractors working for me at age 19. On the surface I most likely appear successful and completely financially stable.

What do you do for a living?

I own my own business which has been open for around a year. There were massive initial business expenses, including the full renovation of a business property. I am the type of person who enjoys working 50-60+ hours per week and adore my job! But due to the recent business expenses I am making less money than I ever have. My friends probably assume that I have more money than I currently do, as I own my own house and look like a successful business woman.

What’s the story you’d like to share?

A friend’s hen party is coming up soon, and after the initial message inviting me to the party I messaged the main organiser separately to ask for an estimated price before I agreed to attend. I had to swallow a lot of pride to do this, but have previously been caught out by agreeing to attend something without all the information, and ended up spending stupid amounts on a 2-day hen party.

I was told this hen party would cost ‘x’ amount and I was happy with the price, so eagerly confirmed my attendance.

However, to date, I have transferred double the initially quoted price. Due to many people not going, everyone else’s share costing more. I have now also been volunteered by the group to drive the 4-5 hour round trip, so will have to incur the fuel charges of that. I’m trying to decide whether it’s worth asking for petrol money - although that feels very juvenile.

How do you feel about it? Has it made you reconsider your own wedding celebrations?

In part I wish I had stuck with my gut and had not agreed to attend the hen party. They aren’t really my idea of fun, but equally I feel pressure to attend for my friend (the bride). Its prompted me to have a discussion with my bridesmaids regarding their plans for my own hen do, to ensure that costs are kept to a minimum and once a price is presented to the group, they must stick to it. I’m also happy to pay for my share of my hen party, rather than it be spread throughout everyone attending. This experience would also discourage me from pulling out of hen parties in the future, as I see how it can impact the cost for everyone else!